1. Always keep in mind that the “End in Mind” is to maintain good working relationships. It’s all about team excellence. Conflict should be handled without it affecting work relationships or the quality of the team’s work. But disputes happen, and they cannot be ignored.
  2. This sometimes means that you need to agree to disagree. If you are a manager or supervisor, you can create a team culture where disagreement is ok, can be appreciated, encouraged, and expected. If all parties understand that producing excellent results will not be sacrificed.
  3. Disagreement and conflict may not happen openly. This will happen when the team does not have enough trust with their leader. New members to the team do not have that level yet, and more than likely will keep it to themselves. Look for the signs in people’s body language.
  4. Look at things from the other person’s point of view. Take a moment and physically write out the other person’s point of view. Not your point of view. Step away from your feelings for a moment and write out their why’s. This step alone will create a resolution quickly.
  5. Only speak for yourself. Other people’s opinions do not count. Speak for yourself and have the facts at hand, ready to share.
  6. Be careful what you say. Always allow yourself to reflect on what you are going to say before you make each statement. Breathe and use the “two-beat” system.
  7. Don’t disagree with e-mail. Face to Face is the best method, however sometimes Face to Face to Face is advisable. If necessary, have a witness present.
  8. Listen, then speak. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” We know what we think is right. Find out first what the other parties’ intent is.
  9. Focus on the intent versus the impact. Working to resolve the challenge only comes after step eight. Then fixing the impact will be at the minimum insight.